Breathless

     About a month ago, I was informed the my dear friend Miss Charlotte had stage four lung cancer with only four to six months left to live. What you have to understand about Miss Charlotte, she was like a grandmother to me, one of the best grandmothers I could have ever hope to have. About a week or two after that, I was told that she was worse, that she only had two to four months. As it turned out, she only had one.
     When I think about how I feel about all of this, all I can think is breathless. I try to breathe, but the breath does not sustain. My heart feels like lead, and my mind is swimming in memories and words of an unfinished poem. Emotions, memories, rhymes surging through my veins...

Breathless

My heart is drowning from tears previously shed;

My soul is weighed with sorrow now its fears come true, with nothing left to dread;

Now she lays sleeping without breath, now she lays dead.

My heart, hopelessness begins to smother;

To this cureless disease I have lost yet another;

Through years of trust and kindness she became my true grandmother.

She looks so at peace there upon her cushioned bed;

Her hair falls in curly, white, aged locks about her head;

There she lays sleeping without breath, there she lays dead.

Here in my mind tightly she holds me;

There she lays upon her cushion, light as can be;

Now she ascends to Heaven to take her place beside Thee.

In my heart I try to remember all that she said;

Before she was taken by Thee from her death bed;

Where she laid sleeping without breath, where she laid dead.

America today, the fault of the Constitution/Declaration of Independence

    "...The Christian governments of the Middle Ages...all had working systems of checks and balances which preserved the freedoms of the people and prevented concentrations of power. In the United States, the systems worked well   until the 20th century. Then it began to break down...

     Why did this theoretically excellent system break down? The Constitution itself had one serious flaw. Madison...stated that sovereignty should rest in the people...Thomas Jefferson had made the same point in the Declaration of Independence "Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed." This idea...was hostile to previous political theory. Since...the Dark Ages, men had regarded sovereignty as coming from God. If power were not exercised in harmony with God's laws, it was not legitimate, no mater how many people consented to it. But God is not mentioned in the Constitution. By placing sovereignty in the people, rather than in God and Divine law, the framers of the Constitution left the door open for any evil, so long as it was justified by majority rule. In Christian societies, the Church was the ultimate check on any would-be tyrant. But this check did not exist in the United State..." ~Anne W. Carroll

Interesting, no? By this, I, personally, gather that it is the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution that has gotten us into the mess we are in today. Think about it. We were given freedom to do whatever we want, not what we know is right through God. If our country had been founded upon what God taught us what was right, instead of what we think to be right, I believe that there would be a lot less crime. Not just crime to the government, but crime to the soul.

Crimes to the government are easy to define: murder, embezzlement, drug dealing, kidnapping. There are fine lines as to what is right and what is wrong. But you see, the government just says 'don't do it, it's bad' (in more words, but you get the picture). That is just another person telling us what to do. It's the equivalent of a sibling telling you to do something. Some people do not believe they have the authority. Now, most of us have enough common sense to know the it's an evil act to go kill someone. But, look at the ignorance around you, millions of defenseless people are ruthlessly murdered every single day. And these aren't even considered murder. Think of abortion.

The line defining crimes against the soul are far less defined and spoken of. The government does not tell us to go to church on Sundays. It does not tell us to follow the 10 Commandments. It does not tell (Catholics) us to go to confession. The government does not find those things important to do! The United States government was founded by the people, with the people, for the people. Nothing to do with God.

Did you know, that God is referenced two times (correct me is I am wrong!) in the Declaration of Independence? And only in one of those references is he called 'God'. These two references are 1: ...separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of..." and 2: "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights...". 

What does this tell us? The Declaration of Independence made us free from England. The Constitution might as well have made us free from God. God is nowhere in the Constitution,  and He was barely mentioned in the convention of the signing. "The debate became so heated that on June 28, Benjamin Franklin proposed having each session begin with a prayer in order to calm frayed nerves and relieve tension. But the delegates could not even agree on that; the proposal was defeated and such was almost the only reference to God in the entire convention." ~Anne W. Carroll. Also, just an interesting fact, religion was only mentioned once in this document.

Based on this, why should we be surprised that there are such atrocities going on in the States today, that morality has been thrown to the wind? We did not have a solid foundation on God. We did not ask for his consent. We took his place! Can you believe that? Somewhere during the War for Independence, we placed our lives in our own hands instead of God's. 

Where has this gotten us?

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard"

     Everyone has their own way of thinking and wording things. Some people, like me, will use an accent or peculiar expression of face to emphasize their point or mood. If people talked in a vulgar tone of voice, and kept a likewise expression, we would have very primitive forms of communication. Emotion in life would be harder to determine than sarcasm in text messaging.

     Most people have their own sense of humor; and some who don't can still be remarkably hilarious. Take my brother for instance, the one who isn't married. He is a movie geek, and he is always joking. Either he says the same joke so many times you just can't help but laugh because he is so persistent, or, he will just pop off and say something totally bizarre and you just can't hold it in. Whereas on the contrary I have several friends with a dry sense of humor. I also have a dear friend who has a very British sense of humor. Then there are my friends who are just out right crazy (*cough*Maimers*cough*).

     Most everyone can make another laugh. I personally normally just get people to laugh at me instead of with me. But you know, whatever works! I am a classic living joke. I love it. But laughter is one of the best ways for someone to be happy. Happiness can come in more ways than could be told in a lifetime, possibly more than even could be told in two.

     A first time parent for instance could find happiness, and pure joy by looking into their child's eyes. Some people (me sometimes included) find happiness in being alone. My cat Stella Luna, the love of my life, finds the ultimate happiness just by being in the same room as me. Some may be wondering where I find happiness? Well...that is a secret! No, not really.

     I am happy when those around me are happy (you know, the expression 'shared sorrow is half sorrow, shared joy is double joy?). I enjoy making my friends laugh (either at me or with) and that makes me happy. I absolutely adore reading poetry, especially written by Edgar Allan Poe, he can always brighten my day! I also find a particular form of happiness in watching old movies, such as What's Up Doc? This is the movie from which I get 'That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard". It is the closing line.

     For those of you who's family and friends have failed to educate you properly in the lore of movies, Judy and Howard are in a plane. Judy is a movie geek (even more so than my brother!) and is rather smart for a mass college kick-out. She looks at Howard and says "Love means never having to say you're sorry." Howard looks at her blankly and replies with "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

     Throughout the whole movie Judy is making people laugh with witty remarks and persistent harassment. Meanwhile, Howard is making people roll about in their seats from his pathetic expressions and his words. He however does not mean to be funny. He is perfectly honest. These are a very basic two types of people who can make others laugh. Or, in my case, make me over joyed.

A Leaf In The Wind

     Many years have gone by since a certain call my mum received after a three hour drive to our nana's house. This call was of dreadful news. It brought to our knowledge that our house was in flames. We stayed the night in a state of shock. We woke to a quiet drive of tears in the morning. When we got there the fire had been put out; the damage had, however, taken it's toll. 
     My parents room was no more, the roof was gone, as was all of the furniture. My room was missing a wall and everything had been destroyed leaving skeletons of what had been the cheerful room of an eight year old girl. My eldest brothers room was thoroughly smoked, though it had no damage from actual flames. My other brother's room was neigh untouched, only mildly smoked. The living room also suffered great damage: all of the furniture was skeletal, and the books upon the shelves, from 3 feet and up, were completely smoked (they mean it when they say 'stop drop and roll'). The kitchen was mostly destroyed, and the dining room was black. 
     We all were safe however, all ten of us who were living there at the time. We also managed to save out seven animals. All together seventeen of us made it out safe and sound. This was the beginning of a new life for us all. None of us have been the same since that terrible summer in 2005.


     On Sunday a vicious wind blew all about the Austin area, I can only assume the same can be said all about Texas. This wind was as strong as any I have ever felt. It assailed everything its path. The winds strong hands tossed leaves and dust all about. It tangle hair and ruffled woman's skirts on their way to church. 
     The wind which tormented the inhabitants of the world did far worse than knock a few trees over or play with a child's hair. This wind spread fire all throughout Austin and the surrounding areas. *One* of these fires has demolished over 34,000 acres of land in the Bastrop area and has claimed the lives of two people.
     No one can understand the grief a fire brings to a family, and the mental ill it leaves in its wake until they have experienced it one on one. Fire consumes everything. It feasts on every substance the world provides it with; and once it is gone, its shadow feasts upon your soul. The fire that incased and razed over 1,000 peoples homes, in just that *one* fire, has changed their lives forever. Some people suffered minimal losses, while others lost everything but the clothes they were wearing. Some were not even capable of saving their pets. 
     These poor deprived people must find a new life for themselves, a new home. I am responsible, as we all are, for sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves all day. We should not look at the small trials we face with scorn and reproach, we should embrace them and learn from them. The venial trails we have cannot begin to compare even to an under-grade of what these poor souls have gone through this past week.


     Our home where we build our foundation, our family, it grows and forms into a sort of tree. At some point the leaves, the members, of the tree will be blown off. The leaves fly through the world on the winds back. They make a new living for themselves. They support their own. Some grow into trees of their own. But they all are transported and changed in the wind. Sometimes dramatically, sometimes acutely. We are all a leaf in the wind, a shadow of the whole.